I was on my computer back in 2012 the evening of 2/26/12 into the wee hours of 2/27/12. At that time, I had been a follower of Josh on twitter for over 2 years. I had a habit of sitting on the computer tweeting with fellow Grobies and waiting for Josh to tweet. He generally did this at midnight, which meant that if he was in California it was closer to 3 am for us easterners. We learned that, if we responded right after he tweeted, he was more likely to answer. Back then I got answered much more often than I do now.
We had a lot of fun tweeting back and forth at that time. We came to realize after a while that he was reading what we were saying about him, because, if we told him it was time to tweet, he would -- it was as if he wanted to be asked. That little group I was in has pretty much disbanded since, but then it was still active.
I also tended to write twitlongers to him. I sometimes felt as if he were a Freudian style therapist, the kind you would talk to on and on, nearly forever, and he would almost never say anything. I got used to tweeting to him as a kind of therapy, in any case.
It was the eve of Josh's birthday. I started creating a birthday card using my tablet & stylus device on my computer. Calligraphy has been a longtime hobby. Somehow, as I tried to create the card, I started journalling.
At that time, I referred to him as my avatar, my representative out in the Internet, where I was too small to garner significant attention. I also called him the chief of my online tribe -- and I called myself a drama vampire, because I found myself enjoying drinking the drama of his songs.
I also called him my twitter godfather, because there was a website that would tell you who your twitter godfather was. That was just the first person you followed on twitter. But I had never had a real flesh and blood godfather. My godmother had been my grandmother who died when I was 10. My parents died much later, but, still, by 2012, they were long gone. I felt a need for godfather, so Josh became that, in some psychological sense, even though I'm old enough to be his mother.
So I began writing into my tablet and stylus device. I don't know if you've ever tried this sort of thing, just spacing out and seeing what your hand writes when you're not really thinking about it. It's a way of getting in touch with your subconscious desires. This is what I found myself writing.
It was a moment of self-revelation, where I realized that I wanted to be a performer myself and this was why I had always been so obsessed with celebrities. Whereas my birth father was totally committed to science and regarded the arts with some disdain (tho he liked classical music and opera fairly well) -- my new godfather was as committed to the arts as my birth father was committed to science.
I saw this thing I had written as a sign that I needed to change. I started pursuing performance.
I also wrote 2 more birthday messages that day, because the first one seemed rather self-centered.
So one thing I did, after adopting my new godfather, was to start studying improv comedy. I was impressed at Josh's improv. I liked the little improvs he did in concerts. I loved his chemistry with Kelly Ripa on "Live with Kelly!" I wanted to learn how to do what he did.
He said he had studied improv before he was a singer. Since he started being a singer at 12, I'm assuming he studied improv as a kid. Someone told me a rumor that he went to summer camp at Second City in Chicago a couple of times. That's the best comedy school in the country, tho I think ios in Chicago is starting to be considered better by some improvisers.
On the first day of improv classes, they often ask everyone in the class what brought them there. I always say that I'm a Grobanite and I was inspired by Josh to study improv, because he was an improviser. Most improvisers don't know that Josh is an improviser.
That was back at the time when a lot of people still had not heard of him. If I had told my father that I was a Grobanite, I think he would have disapproved. Probably my mother would have also. Being obsessed with a celebrity was just not something that was in their universe, or so I imagined in any case. I felt embarrassed to say that I was a Grobanite. I soon learned, though, that a lot of people thought that it was cute that I was a Grobanite.
I had always wondered what I wanted to do when I grew up. I had never figured it out. Here I was in my fifties and I had still never figured it out.
I did have a hobby of making up stories and acting them out in my home, alone. I always felt embarrassed about this hobby. It seemed insane to me.
After I had been studying improv for a couple of months, it suddenly occurred to me that I was surrounded by other people who liked to make up stories and act them out. I wasn't alone. I felt like I had been struck by lightening. This was it. This was what I was supposed to be doing.
Not that they all necessarily agree on this with me. I haven't gotten into the conservatory level courses yet. Also, most of my fellow students are much, much younger than I am.
But I'm still at it, four years later.
It was great to be in musical improv when I was in chemo. I later learned that performing music is the best exercise for the brain. That was determined by neurological researchers. Chemo is neurotoxic and can damage the brain. By doing musical improv, I now believe I was doing the absolutely best thing that I could have done to minimize brain damage. I owe that in part to Josh.
Recently Josh started appearing in a Broadway show, "Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812." This show is very hot right now. One thing my fellow improvisers respect is successful Broadway shows. I've noticed on FB that they're doing the lottery to get into Josh's show now, the way they were doing the lottery to get into "Hamilton" before.
I just started a new improv course this month, December 2016. Again, the instructor asked me why I was taking improv. Again I said it was because I was a Grobanite and Josh Groban was an improviser.
The instructor, a young Asian man in his 30's, said "We're all Grobanites now."
Wow. I was a trendsetter. Imagine that.
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