On having a meet and greet with Adam -- what was going on in my head -- a core dump

I woke up in the middle of the night with insomnia and wrote this blog. I may delete it.  It's about what was going on in my head after meeting my new pop hero. It's not adulation.  If you read my blog, you'll see that I don't necessarily do that, even when I'm obsessed with a performer.

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Of course I knew he liked make up. He often said so. He even said that his last job before he got into show business was working at the cosmetics counter at Nordstrom‘s, but…

I wasn’t prepared. The make up on his face was caked so thick. It reminded me of my friend in high school who had a strawberry mark on her face. I guess he knew he was going to be photographed frequently, so he wanted to look good?

But then my inner voices start saying things like: Is he trying to conceal some early wrinkles, because of age? Does he have circles under his eyes? Is he nervous about the concert? Is he miserable because Javi left?

He was much thinner than I expected. My inner voice asks: Is he starving himself? Does he have AIDS?

He looked like he was wearing a mask. It looked like him, for sure, but also not. Most nights I fall asleep fantasizing about him. Tonight I can’t.

I wasn’t as articulate as I would’ve liked to have been. He told me he liked my velvet. I had worn velvet to meet him. I didn’t say thank you. I did remember to say it was nice to meet him.

I mean I expected the eye make up. He’s always had a lot of eye make up.

It could’ve been Botox. His face looks kind of rigid. I mean you don’t have a lot of wrinkles at 37 normally. Nevertheless, you might have a few on your forehead. And, he has also smoked. I don’t know how much. I saw a picture of him smoking that wasn’t that old. I hope he’s not damaging his voice. Smoking does cause wrinkles around the eyes. That might scare him. He’s very appearance oriented.

Brian and Roger succeed in performing over 70. I wonder what they do with their faces. They look pretty good for over 70. They don’t hide their gray hair though. Would they start rejecting him if he looked older? Does he worry about that? Is the front man supposed to look young? It’s hard to imagine them discriminating on the basis of age. But they could. He could be afraid of that.

Or maybe he just thinks the fans expect him not to age. Would fans reject him if he looks older? They might. People always love watching very young people sing.

But I can’t fantasize about him tonight. There’s something about that face. I always have been into the natural look. I know that I’m different from him in that respect. I’ve never really liked make up. And perhaps this was more than make up. Perhaps it was Botox also. I have the feeling something was wrong. 

Pretty soon it’s going to be that horrible plastic surgery stuff. I saw a picture of Barry Manilow. What a nightmare! Should I unhitch my  imagination from this wagon? Am I guilty of age discrimination?

I said I didn’t want to be a Grobanite anymore. I find my Tourette’s voice still calling out that I love Josh, though. At least Josh isn’t doing something like that to his face. At least I don’t think so.

#glambert