Why I hate the song "Smile"

I’m listening to Connie Talbot’s album “Over the Rainbow.”  I’m hearing that song “Smile.”  That song really bugs me.

For me, this is a song about emotional dishonesty. It’s a song about making other people more comfortable at my own expense, by not exposing them to my negative emotions.  

Indeed most people don’t feel that they can cope with negative emotions in others.  Any expression of negative emotions is greeted with an instruction to go to a therapist.  No one is willing just to listen to a friend or acquaintance having a rough spot.

Well, as far as I’m concerned, a person who can’t cope with my negative emotions is not my friend; and the instruction to go to a therapist at the slightest hint of negative emotions is a strong confirmation of that.

I am also a 12 stepper.  One thing I learned in my 12 step programs is that addiction is a result of trying not to deal with emotions — that addicts medicate themselves with substances or behaviors to avoid feeling feelings.  Precisely this sort of emotional dishonesty is the pathway to addiction.

“Smile” was Michael Jackson’s favorite song.  Note what happened to him.

Now, poor Connie Talbot, who sang this song on an album at age 6 or 7, has taken a vacation from twitter because she’s going through a hard time.

That’s understandable.  She’s 14.  That’s a hard time.  The young teen is just learning to cope with a new body, hormonal shifts, new thoughts and feelings. Most teens get stressed.

I think it must be much harder for her.  She’s been spending a lot of her energy being a performer who specializes in smiling a lot and cheering people up.  This grew out of her early experiences singing to her grandmother when her grandmother was dying.  Her grandmother found her singing very comforting.  Connie therefore wanted to keep comforting people with her singing.

There  is at least one YouTube video that focuses only on her giggles.  She was a very cute little kid giggling.

Now she’s a teen and she doesn’t feel like being a cute little girl giggling.  That must be particularly difficult for her, given that she’s been performing for millions of people being a giggler and someone who sings songs to cheer people up.

I wish her well.

But I don’t think that song is a good background at all for dealing with real issues.