Tuesday, August 7, 2018

RIP @jennr473 fan of @joshgroban

I've had 3 Grobie friends die prematurely: Lizzzie, Imazdi4ever (Donna) and now Jennr473.
I've been thinking about this. Why is this happening?

First, what sort of people become serious fans? These are not casual fans who buy an album and listen to it a few times. These are people who make a serious effort to get to lots of concerts, get every album, join a fan club, hang out with other fans, hang out by stage doors to get momentary glimpses of Josh and get his autograph.  These are people who hang out sufficiently often that Josh actually recognizes them when he sees them, or even tweets about them dying.

I have to think that these are people like me, people who are unhappy enough in their lives that somehow the idea of a celebrity is an escape -- somehow this bigger than life person can brighten the otherwise dismal life.

A person who has great stress in life will suffer adverse health consequences.  Medical studies are increasingly showing this.

Also, particularly with cancer, I believe cancer causes depression, as a symptom.  I've been through chemo twice and in remission twice.  I definitely feel that when I have cancer there is a subliminal drag on my psyche and my energy. I'm not depressed because I know I have cancer. I'm depressed before I know I have cancer, because at some level my body knows that something is horribly wrong.

Josh, himself, has described his work as "super depresso." I think particularly of his early songs "To Where You Are" and "For Always," which are directed at people who have lost a loved one.  But also there have been many songs about failed relationships "Now or Never," "Higher Window," "Happy in my Heartache," "Broken Vow," "Falling Slowly," etc.

These songs appeal to people with broken lives.

Those people either have or are going to have health problems.

Not a very pretty picture -- but, I fear, premature death awaits many of us hard core fans.

I'm frustrated, because I'm travelling with this ancient desk book running windows 7 and blogspot doesn't work well with this computer. I'm not going to be able to edit this unless I get to another computer.  if you're a regular reader of this blog, you'll know that I normally keep editing after posting.