So this happened -- @joshgroban nominated for grammy

Josh is finally nominated for a grammy -- after a long hiatus.

In the past, Josh often spoke of his frustration at not fitting into a grammy category.  Though he normally presents as a humble fellow, his desire for a grammy has been thinly veiled at best.  I remember one tweet about the grammy nomination of Ruslan Sirota, his pianist on the All that Echoes tour, where Josh tweeted that he was "grammy adjacent."

For me, though, it's bittersweet.

What I liked best about Josh was his music that was pop crossed over with modern classical.  People called it pop/classical crossover, but to me that description is more evocative of Il Divo.  Josh was bringing in more elements of experimental music.  That's what I really liked.

Here are some examples:

Sometimes it was just unusual note or chord progressions

sometimes a bit more exotic

often international and exotic

sometimes electronic

Modern classical/pop crossover: not a grammy category, not accessible to the masses, intellectually complex -- but to me this has been his genius.

Don't ge me wrong. "Stages" is beautiful.  He has a new voice coach and his voice is sounding better than it ever has, albeit a bit more conventional than it did.  

But the background music sounds like Muzak to me...  not as interesting.  

There have been articles written about how successful popular music is all similar musically.   Here are some examples:

http://www.dailydot.com/lol/pop-country-6-song-mashup/

http://www.hooktheory.com/blog/i-analyzed-the-chords-of-1300-popular-songs-for-patterns-this-is-what-i-found/

Uggh, like we're just sheep -- baaaah-baaaah -- always going after the same stuff; but Josh wasn't.  Josh was different -- refreshingly different.

To get a "grammy" nomination, he had to become more similar to others.  Ick, ick, ick.  I don't like that. It bothers me.  Not that I hate this album.  I don't.  But I hate that in order to get recognition he had to give up the way he was different.

Still, hopefully, the fact that "Stages" has done so well will give him some flexibility in creating a different sort of album next time.

RIP @elllizibeth

I just got my Josh Groban Stages DVD. It’s damaged. At least the first song doesn’t play properly.  

I also just learned that Elizabeth Hershoff died.  https://www.gofundme.com/elizabethhershoff  Somehow the timing of these two events seems significant to me.

I met Lizzie on twitter, if I recall correctly. We were both fans of Josh Groban. 

At that time, twitter was very new and Josh on twitter was very new.  Josh was in California.  He tended to get on twitter and tweet at about midnight California time.  A bunch of us would sit around by our computers waiting for him to tweet, even tho we were in other time zones and it was very late for us.  We were tweeting about him.

After a while, I think it occurred to us that he was actually reading what we were saying.  I_balls, who was later Violet, started this thing of asking him to tweet.  Curiously, he seemed to tweet just when she asked him to, as if he had been waiting for us to ask.

Then sometimes he would interact with us.  We liked to be on when he started tweeting, because we figured that, if we could respond to his tweet within a few minutes, he would be likely to see it — and even possibly answer.  We tried to get good at making speedy, witty comments on his tweets, because he seemed to enjoy that.

Lizzie was particularly good at this. She also wrote a very funny blog that Josh seemed to like.  He tweeted her over 30 times.  At one point, she was the fan he had tweeted to most of anyone.

Lizzie had interesting opinions.  

She was a public school teacher. Her district in Boulder Colorado had, if I recall correctly, eliminated grading students.  Their students tended to do exceptionally well on national standardized tests.  She cited that as evidence that how students do in school has little to do with pedagogy or grading or any of the standard things that are attempted — and everything to do with their families.  The families in her area were economically comfortable, and well-educated, so their kids would always do well in school, no matter what the school did.

She was an atheist.  She was inspired by Josh’s friend, Cara Santa Maria, to become more publicly atheist. Cara Santa Maria is a very in-your-face atheist — and very smart.  

She also was not a big fan of capitalism. I remember her telling me about a book she read that had as its thesis that our economic system rewards sociopaths — certainly a thought-provoking topic.

Her writing was excellent and biting.  I finally met her in person on Jul 2, 2013 at a Josh concert at the Hollywood Bowl.  In person she sounded quite different from the way she sounded in her writing.  She  was humble and spoke in a small, high voice.  I think she was not aware how different her writing was from how she was in person.

Lizzie was very smart.  She started a thread on FOJG for intellectual discussions.  I used to participate on that thread.  

The thread got deleted at one point. We think it got deleted because I was complaining about how much I missed Lucia in Josh’s concerts.  That was a hint that perhaps someone — probably Josh himself — was sensitive to that topic.

Lizzie was very upset about the deletion.

Other fans became jealous of the attention Josh paid to her.  They started criticizing her. Also, I think some of them did not get her sense of humor, while Josh did.  No one should ever mistake Josh for just a singer or just a musician.  He's a very sharp cookie and voracious speed reader.

It turned out that Lizzie was very sensitive and could not tolerate to be criticized publicly on the Internet.  She asked people to stop, but they only criticized her more and sent especially cruel DMs to her on Josh’s website.  

She began accusing them of bullying.  Then they would assert that they were only arguing or trying to  convince her that she was wrong.  

One of the mods, Backwards1, wrote her privately and told her that her posts were fine and that nastiness between fans had always been a problem on the website — and encouraged her to keep posting.  Some fans suspected that this particular mod was Josh himself.

Lizzie particularly did not like being discussed on other blogs — some of which were very nasty to her indeed.

From my perspective, the idea that you could talk someone out of being very sensitive by mass public criticism over the Internet was utterly absurd.  It also seems to me that, if someone tells you that they can’t tolerate such criticism and you keep doing it after being requested to stop, then you are a bully, even if you think that the person shouldn’t be so sensitive or you think you should be able to talk them out of it.

Jspot was particularly vicious. Several of us complained to Wordpress, but they wouldn’t do anything, which still infuriates me.  Also, Josh, who was probably the only person with enough clout to do anything about that blog, apparently chose to ignore it, rather than try to protect friends and fans who were being attacked.

Louise Miller was also often nasty to her. Louise will deny this, because she deletes this stuff, but it was definitely so.

There were twitter accounts that were registered just for the purpose of attacking Lizzie.  I think I still have some screen images of that somewhere on my computer.  Bullies go after blood.  When they knew she was sensitive and that they could get a rise out of her, they just got worse.

Eventually, she disabled comments on her blog.  Curiously, probably because she was being criticized on widely read websites, her blog was very popular and she typically got at least 500 hits on each post.

She never could get used to being criticized on the Internet.  

Stress damages the immune system. I wonder to what extent the stress she felt over this could have contributed to her getting cancer.

Earlier this year, rumors started flying on various social media about Josh’s personal life. There had always been rumors, but these got nastier than usual, especially from disgruntled ex girlfriends.

Lizzie got obsessed with those rumors and began behaving in a way that was distressing even to those who liked her -- even encouraging one of these ex girlfriends to expose Josh.  Now it appears that her behavior may have been due to the brain cancer that was diagnosed towards the end of the summer.

I do wonder, too, whether the stress of seeing these salacious rumors about Josh, who she loved so very much, could have damaged her health.

When she realized she was dying, she deleted all her social media accounts.  I feel very sad about that, because her blog had some funny/brilliant posts.  

She sent me some messages not to tell anyone she was dying.  She was concerned about all the people who were hostile towards her — and she did not want them to know.

Later, her friend in Boulder created the public gofundme page, so Grobies found out and contributed.  I hope, somehow, she realized before the end that not everyone in Grobania was really hostile towards her.

****

Addendum: 11/19/15 

For those of you who may have joined us recently, Josh's style on twitter changed substantially recently, possibly as a result of the incidents with the rumors.  He's much more professional & less interactive than he used to be -- also less funny, alas.

Also, given that people can delete their social media accounts with no notice, if there's something you really like on there, despite copyright, it would be nice to make copies.

*****

Addendum: 12/5/15

Josh may have read this, because his tweets have suddenly gotten more fun recently.  

A lot of the cyber-bullying attacks against Lizzie were fans, rather self-righteously, "defending" Josh against perceived "attacks."  

This is what Josh himself has been saying on this topic recently

I should also add that I_balls, who was later Violet, left twitter, in part because she did not like the way she was treated by other fans, particularly when Josh tweeted her.

People attacked me, too, quite often, but I was fortunately able to get past it.

**********

Addendum 1/4/16 I was just trying to go back and find all of Josh's tweets to Lizzie.  It turns out that the option to find "all" tweets is gone.  They'll just do "top" tweets.  Still there are quite a few

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addendum 5/14/16

I saw this piece about a promising trial for treatment of glioblastoma.  It made me think of Lizzie.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/promising-duke-university-polio-brain-cancer-trial-given-breakthrough-status-60-minutes/

Too late for her, alas :'(  but interesting -- using polio virus.

*********

addendum 5/19/16

This article asserts that rates incidence of brain cancer have been flat over the last 20 years, and, therefore concludes, that cell phones do not cause brain cancer.

It's hard to believe that brain cancer rates have been flat, when one has a personal friend who died of brain cancer.

*******

Addendum 10/27/16

Reading articles about brain cancer research and thinking of Lizzie 

http://www.barrons.com/articles/PR-CO-20161026-909438

****

Addendum 4/14/17

Another article about brain cancer, especially glioblastoma research

http://www.upi.com/Health_News/2017/04/14/Brain-cancer-vaccine-appears-safe-in-small-trial/2231492176375/

Loretta Lynn concert 11/15/15

I went to see Loretta Lynn perform 11/15/15 -- so not everything on this blog is about Josh Groban

I never really was a country music fan, though I’ve started to like “Home Free,” but I did see the movie “Coal Miner’s Daughter,” so when I saw she was coming to my local music hall I figured I’d better find out what she was about.

I ended up being late to the concert, because I had another thing to do before, but I only missed the opening act, which was a relief.

They really had 2 opening acts.  They had her son sing for a while with her band as well, and then her daughter, before they brought her on, and even when she was on stage, they spelled her by interspersing singing by others — and she sang abbreviated versions of some of the songs. She was visibly out of breath after singing & sat most of the time when singing.  They had someone walk her on and off stage.

Still, for a woman in her 80’s she did very well.  Her voice was clear and strong.  Also there was something about her timing.  I think that’s one of the characteristics that distinguish great musicians — very precise timing, so that they’re not just performing, they seem to be part of the music, like the music is including them rather than being forced out of them.

It was interesting comparing the singing styles between her, her daughter, and her grand daughter.  She had a much clearer sound, while the granddaughter was breathier — and the daughter was singing lower.  That’s an odd trend, recently, it seems like we want men to sing high and women to sing low — like a generation of people who aren’t satisfied with natural sounding voices.  Of the three, I thought Loretta was the best.

She’s apparently been touring all year, despite apparently being somewhat weak.  That’s pretty amazing — IMHO.

I've never thought of these women country singers, with their heavily styled hair and sparkles, as feminists, but I'm realizing, watching this video that they were.  

Still, though, when I saw Loretta Lynn play, the entire band was male.  That seems to be typical: a female singer with a male backup band.  I've talked about this on this blog before.  Celtic "Women"

comparing Stages and ATE/Illuminations

LIstening to the iheart radio concert

I know Stages is winning in the court of public opinion, but I sure liked this stuff from ATE -- especially I really thought Ruslan added a lot.  I find it ironic that because we liked Ruslan so much we funded him to do his own album, so he's not touring with Josh.  Groan. 

Ruslan's album that was funded by the kickstarter is now done.  I don't know if it's available to the public or just to those who funded the kickstarter as yet -- but it's a very fine thing, indeed.  Andre Manga and Mark Stevens came out with their own albums in the past, but I didn't like them as much.

I can't help but wonder, tho, whether Ruslan was particularly attracted to the music from ATE because it was innovative in character -- and whether he wasn't bored by the muzacky stuff on Stages.  He wouldn't tell us, I don't think.  He's said he can't talk about anything about Josh due to non-disclosure agreements.

Of course, I liked Lucia better than Christian as well, but it appears that there's no featured violinist on the current tour at all.  I wonder what that's about. I guess it's about just emphasizing Josh's singing.  

He's also moving around less on the stage than he did in past concerts.  I wonder what that's about as well.  Is he getting older and less energetic?  Has he been advised to stand more still because that will position him better for theater? In my acting classes, they often talk about the power of stillness and avoiding unnecessary gestures and pacing.  The Awake DVD that showed him running full out while singing was pretty impressive -- singing as an athletic activity; but that definitely wouldn't fly on Broadway.

For me, though, when they talk about Josh being classical/pop crossover, what always attracted me was that he was modern classical/pop crossover -- that his stuff was influenced by experimental music, like electronic music.  A piece like Voce Existe em Mim was musically interesting -- unlike anything else out there.  I miss that.

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addendum Oh, and remember how Josh used to play the piano at concerts?

@joshgroban at The Beacon Theater 9/29/15

Meet & Greet

So I won a meet & greet for 9/29/15 at The Beacon Theater.  That was remarkable.  It was only because Night Owl reminded me that I even applied — and then we both won them.  

I was so nervous about it that I even forgot to find out whether anyone from FOJG was getting together for dinner before the concert.

I was preparing what I would say to him.  I had a little script.  I forgot to look at it.  I remembered most of it though.

I wanted to tell him both my pseudonyms.  He’s tweeted me as @skysong263 and I’m pretty sure that he has at least sometimes read this blog.  I did that, but did not tell him my real name.  It’s on some list somewhere, certainly at FOJG, but I did not tell him that. I even had pins made up with the photos I use to identify myself.  Unfortunately, I made up the pins a few years back, so I had what’s actually the background picture for my twitter account now, not the parrot, which is my avi.  So he still does not really know who I am, but that’s ok.  It’s not like he’s going to call me.

I gave him a copy of a script of a play I was in this past June.  It was a play that was based on submissions. I submitted my Grobie inspired sketch.  I have posted this sketch on this blog at Grobie Inspired Sketch I wrote it during a sketch writing course back in 2013, just before I was diagnosed with cancer.  The editor/director of the play put all the submissions together into a script.  It turned out to have Josh spoofing as a major theme, so I thought Josh would like a copy of it

Here’s my tweet about it

.@joshgroban the editor/director of the play that I gave U the script 4 was @DanAhrens ; U were played by @JohnnyGriz; venue: @thepitnyc

They guy who played Josh had a really lovely voice.

I also was able to give Josh a private message.  That’s one frustrating thing about twitter is that everything is public.  You can’t tell him something confidential.

I also gave him a printout of a graph my first cousin did showing how Josh is our 11th cousin.  My 1st cousin went back 12 generations to find a Winslow who was a common ancestor with Josh back around the turn of the 17th century.  Josh seemed interested.  He autographed it and handed it back to me.  I pointed out that it was for him.  He said he autographs his own stuff all the time, LOL. 

He seemed quite subdued.  Of course, he’s said that that he turns on when he gets on stage.  We also see that in the “If I walk Away” video that his brother Chris made. If I Walk Away  I see it’s got over 2 million views.  Anyway, it shows Josh being very subdued until he gets on stage when he gets wired and high energy.

I actually got to put my arm around his waist when we were photographed.  I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about that.  Some fans really want to hug him. That’s not me.  I’m a blogger, not a hugger.  Still, it was ok.  I didn’t freak out.  Darren had wanted us to put our arms around his shoulders, but how do you do that  when you’re shorter and he has his arm around your shoulder? That doesn’t make sense.  

I forgot to tell him that I am a faith healer and that I’ve been told that I have extraordinary hands — with healing power in my hands.  Hopefully he benefitted.

I also forgot to ask him whether he called Stevie Wonder yet.

Josh sang one of Stevie's songs on the last album.  During a couple of interviews promoting the last album, he reported that Stevie had sought to write a song with him -- saying maybe they would save the world with the song.  Stevie has obviously some interest in something like my Quixotic Quest -- please note explanatory blog Explanatory Blog for Quixotic Quest  Josh said in those interviews that he felt too intimidated by Stevie to call him. I've been periodically tweeting Josh asking him if he's called Stevie Wonder yet.  I wanted to ask him in person, but forgot -- an omission from my Quixotic Quest -- and that's not good.

I blogged about this Stevie Wonder issue before Open Letter to Stevie Wonder

Now on to the concert

Josh did sound very good in the concert.

In prior years there have been issues.  I blogged about that Changes in Josh's Voice Blog  He was straining on high notes. Also he was making funny faces and bending over strangely ( twisting his head) when singing.  Voice teachers remarked that this seemed like poor singing technique. This was particularly a problem during the Straight To You Tour.

I know Josh wants to perform on Broadway, but I doubted he could be cast with these issues, even tho his fans love him.

I had noticed that the high note straining problem seemed better in the more recent recordings. Reportedly Josh has a new voice coach.  This is reputed to be her

http://www.playbillvault.com/Person/Detail/887/Kristen-Allen-Blodgette  

I am very grateful to this person.  He’s really sounding a whole lot better.

Still, “Bring Him Home” is very high and I heard him sounding strained when singing it on a TV show.

In fact his performance was nearly flawless and his falsetto in “Bring Him Home” was very full and relaxed.

He never bent over while singing, twisted his head strangely, or made screwy facial expressions. Well, I was not right near the front, so he might have made subtle funny expressions, but not that I could see from where I was.

Also, he had sometimes tended to sing back in his throat at times.  That seems to have vanished as well. I’m not quite sure if I like that part.  I know it’s better technique to sing in the front of the mouth, but his back singing seemed very emotional and sobby, so I was sort of drawn to it.

Now, if you know me, you know I never blog without complaining about something, so here goes.

In the first half, the sound quality was poor.  Josh’s voice was distorted.  All of its beautiful subtlety was lost.  It was also overloud. 

I ended up putting in ear plugs in the first half, not so much because it was too loud as because the ear plugs seemed to remove the distortion.  There was a similar situation in Newark during the STY tour, when I heard him there.  I wonder if Josh is hanging on to some incompetent sound guy.

Fortunately, miraculously, in the second half, things sounded better.  I double checked with the lady next to me and she agreed that the sound was better in the second half.

Obviously, someone complained during intermission.  It wasn’t me.  I didn’t get around to tweeting about it.  I’m thinking maybe it was Kat, because she was around there somewhere.  People saw her going in and out.

But at least there was an intermission, which there typically has not been before.  Someone got through their heads that women of a certain age, who are frequently Josh fans, have to pee fairly often.  The line at the restroom was crazy: around the basement, up the stairs, and past the generously sized bar.  Taking advantage of intermission was challenging.  The men of course had virtually no line.

Ruslan, sadly, was not there at the concert.  We all liked his playing so much that we payed into a kickstarter so that he could come out with an album.  As a result, he is busy recording an album right now.  That’s sort of ironic.  One pays into a kickstarter, because one likes to hear him playing, which means that one DOESN’T get to hear him.

In general the accompaniment was quiet, unobtrusive, and not particularly musically interesting.  

I miss the more  avant guard aspects of Josh’s music from Josh’s prior albums.  I always considered him the first mainstream new music/modern classical singer.  He wasn’t purely pop classical crossover.  There was an edge to what he did.

Accompaniment is pleasant but uninspired on this album as well as on this tour.

Josh is apparently not touring with a concert master/mistress this time.  They used a local orchestra and chorus for this concert.  There was a woman sitting in the first violin chair. I have no idea who that was.  Josh didn’t introduce her.   They don’t give out free programs at this type of concert, so I couldn’t look her up.  In any case, no Christian — and certainly no Lucia (who I always preferred)

He had another performer there, Lena Hall, who he sang two duets with and who sang two solos from her own album.  I did not care for her voice.  During the June private concert, he sang with Sierra Bogges — and a bootleg video came out of that .  I much prefer Sierra’s voice to Lena’s.  But I guess Sierra is in an active Broadway show and therefore not available to tour.

Josh did not play drums or piano, as he normally has during his prior concerts. I thought that was nice when he did that in the past, partly because i like to hear him play, but also because it broke up the concert a bit more. I missed him playing -- and having him always standing in front without moving around much or playing the piano was a tad dull.  

Even though the sound was cleaned up in the second half, the lyrics of “Move On” were garbled due to sound issues.  One of my friends could not even distinguish what song was being sung, despite being long term fan who has all his albums.

Over all, I would say that it was not nearly so exciting a concert as the one in the Allen Room Allen Room Concert report

I may add more later.

@lang_lang @nyphil 9/24/15

In the summer of 2014, I subscribed to the 2014-15 season of the New York Philharmonic, because Josh was the featured performer in the opening gala, and the only way you could see that performance was to subscribe.  I got the absolute cheapest subscription — sitting up in the 3rd tier.

One thing that immediately struck me, listening to the orchestra was that the violins sounded different from what I was used to with orchestras. They sounded much clearer — and fully synchronized, so that they sounded like a single instrument.  It was a mesmerizing sound.  

I’ve never been much of a violin fan.  I have auditory sensitivities.  Violins are generally not compatible with me.  The only exception has been Lucia Micarelli, who I’ve mentioned before, my favorite violinist.

But it was this intriguing sound that hooked me.

I decided to renew and be a subscriber this year as well.

One time last spring I got to speak with a long time subscriber, and she said that there was a temporary concert mistress — and that this temporary person had dramatically  improved the sound of the orchestra.

I decided to renew this year, even tho Josh wasn’t performing.

The opening gala this time featured Lang Lang.  I had seen him on YouTube before, notably playing flight of the bumble bee on an iPad.  I wanted to see him in person, so I signed up for the gala.

I really fell for him as a performer. 

His playing is like liquid gold — so smooth, subtle, nuanced.  He’s something of a ham, as well, acting out the feelings he has for the music, as he plays.  He’s entertaining to watch as well as listen to.  

I noticed that one of the guys in my box elected to wear a sleep mask during Lang Lang’s performance, apparently wanting to focus on the sound rather than the visuals.  I noticed he took the mask off for the Beethoven Symphony that Lang Lang was not participating in.  It was a bit spooky.  I hope he isn’t dangerous.

Anyway, Lang Lang is able to convey the impression that the piece he is playing is totally fresh — that his playing is not due to following music on a printed page, but improvised spontaneously in the moment in response to what he is hearing.  Everyone else is staring at the music.  He is listening actively.  He has great stage presence.

There was a new concert master.  Unfortunately for me, the violins had gone back to normal.  They did not sound like a single instrument.  They sounded like a group of performers, due to tiny variations in timing.  That eerie, preternatural clarity and crispness was gone.

I suppose there is no reason to prefer them all sounding like a single performer, other than novelty.  I suppose I'm being unsophisticated for preferring that, but still I like the sound I heard during Josh's concert.

Curiously, Lang Lang passed the bouquet he was given to woman who I think is the former temporary concert mistress.  That made me wonder if he, too, noticed the difference and liked the former version better, not that he would likely say anything.

"If I Walk Away"

I've been thinking about why it is that Josh seems to still like some fans who have been very critical of him -- and even acknowledged a twitter thread that included an online post with a reference to the notorious Gaby Dunn.

Dunn has been publicly blasting a former lover who is widely believed to be Josh, see e.g. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/03/f--kboy-definition-take-that-haters_n_7471142.html.

Other women connected with Josh have sometimes said negative things as well. I talked about some of this gossip in a previous blog. I have no knowledge about the truth or falsity of any of the allegations, so I just listed some questions, and did not even mention his name.

Many of us had just been hoping that "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" and maybe it was just "sour grapes" that made these women so bitter -- hoping it would just blow over.

He had been giving the appearance of studiously ignoring the kerfuffle on twitter and Instagram. He tweeted furiously in a rather detached, professional way about tour dates and public appearances.  I suspected he was scared, though.

Then he put out those tweets that seemed to acknowledge, screen shot below.

This was unexpected. I thought he would just continue furiously tweeting -- giving the appearance of ignoring it all. I inferred from what he said that he hoped people would realize that things were probably not so clear as some of these women were implying.

But why acknowledge it -- and why acknowledge one of his most public critics?

Then I remembered his song "If I Walk Away." I and some commentators had originally assumed that this song was written as some kind of love song; but Josh, in at least one interview, said that this was a song he wrote to his family -- and inner circle of friends -- asking them to let him know if he was letting celebrity go to his head.

He had his brother film him -- walking away -- apparently lost in his own thoughts -- apparently detached from the world around him.  The film seemed to show a performer who was turning on the charm to create an act on stage, while staying a normal, lonely man at other times.

The critical posters have been implying otherwise -- that he was using his celebrity status to sexually exploit adoring women.  I wonder if his family even knew about all this, or dared discuss it with him.

I wonder if, in some sense, those critical posters -- though not his family or inner circle, and therefore not the people he really trusts -- were doing exactly what he was asking in the song.  I wonder if he noticed that.  Even if the allegations are distorted, he might appreciate that people are trying to keep him on track.

The acknowledged tweet was citing this article http://www.papermag.com/2015/08/introducing_our_beta_bro_hall.php

Kali's Song for Josh

My friend, Kali, who also goes by @UltraGrobanite on twitter, is autistic.

She wrote a song about Josh.  She posted the lyrics.

I asked her if she were going to make a YouTube video of herself singing this song. She said she couldn't sing.  I made a chirbit of myself singing this song. 

Chirbit of Kali's song

It would be nice if someone would add instrumentals.  I might do that when I get back to a piano.

Addendum: with the assistance of @maf11, Marie Freitas, there is now a YouTube video

World Hip Hop Competition -- and the Quixotic Quest

I recently learned of the existence of the World Hip Hop Dance Competition. 

http://hiphopinternational.com/

I read an article about this in today’s Wall Street Journal (8/11/15).  The article said that teams were participating from all over the world.  Asian teams have become increasingly competitive apparently, having learned how to do this art Form by watching YouTube. These teams have done bake sales and borrowed money to go to the contests.

My Quixotic Quest for the World Anthem was inspired by Michael Jackson’s “Cry” video, but in fact MJ thought there were three things that would heal the world: Music, Dance, and Children.

After MJ’s death there was a trend, via YouTube, to share videos of dancing flash mobs, dancing to Michael Jackson music, as a memorial to him.  This was one of the things that inspired me on this quest.  

Flash Mob America is a company that started based on these videos, and also inspired by the flash mobs and  Michael Jackson’s hope that Music, Dance, and Children could save the world.  Flash Mob America also uses YouTube to spread visual messages regarding its project.

The “Cry” video posits a single event where a song would be spread, and that has been my concept; but YouTube offers another concept: the spread of art between individuals in a locally small way, but a globally huge way.  

MJ would have been very excited about these Hip Hop contests.  I had a link here to one of his dances, but the link is now broken -- will have to look

So, it’s not exactly the world anthem or the day when the whole world sings it together, but it’s a kind of progress in that direction — and surely having these people participate in dance contests is a peaceful diversion of the kind of energy that might otherwise result in violence

Review: Hedwig and the Angry Inch 8/8/15

I went to see this show this weekend, because I hoped to see Darren Criss. Darren recently appeared with Josh Groban on a bootleg YouTube video of a free Josh concert. After I saw that video, I looked around for other videos on YouTube and found one with Darren being interviewed by Kelly Ripa (don't remember if Michael was there or not).  During this interview, I found out that Darren was doing Hedwig. Darren was also in Glee, which I watched a few episodes of, after learning that Josh and Charice had appeared there. Darren talked about being a straight actor playing a gay man, which made me curious.

Normally, I think it isn't P.C. any more for a white actor to play a person of color. Is it o.k. for a straight actor to play a gay man? In any case, I wanted to see it.

Criss also played a gay man/boy in Glee.

It turned out that Darren had already left, so I got the new guy, Taye Diggs. I'm not sure if he's the first African American playing this role. He certainly made a lot of comments/jokes about being black.

It was also interesting that the person playing the jealous sidekick/husband was a woman playing a man. I actually liked her singing better than his.

Hewig is a hugely demanding role. They have to keep changing actor playing the lead, because people's voices keep wearing out.

This was not the show I expected in other ways.

It said on the poster that it was a comedy. Actually, it's mostly sad, with some sad/bitter jokes, though it ends with an inspirational song.

Also, I found the show quite hard to follow, which was frustrating. I went with a friend who had seen it off Broadway, years ago. He said it was much easier to understand before, because it was less glitzy and overdone.

Another thing I had expected was that this character would have a high voice and be effeminate. Wrong. He was very masculine and had a low, baritone voice, maybe even bass baritone, certainly no falsetto.  It was a bit difficult to buy him as a gay character, because he was so masculine.

The keyboard artist did have a fine falsetto, tho.

Another thing I expected was a high energy, angsty show. In fact, a lot of it was low energy and melancholy.

It was frequently loud, which wasn't entirely surprising, but it was often quiet, so I was constantly putting the ear plugs in and pulling them out, which was also frustrating.

I expected exquisite belting. The guy had a nice voice, but not spectacular.

This particular performer had some strong points. He was great when doing accents and voices. He gave a very good performance of the angry inch song itself. Also, I liked the part where he was stuck in Kansas, watching the world on a TV screen. I thought he did that very well.

However, I felt that a lot of the time he wasn't really in it, i.e. his acting sometimes lacked authenticity. He seemed to get into it more as the show went on.  He seemed to warm up.

There were some intriguing special effects near the beginning where they put down what looked like a net screen.  They projected cartoons/drawings on the screen, which I hadn't seen before.  In other words, the screen was transparent and in front of Hedwig.  You could see Hedwig singing through it, while the cartoons were projected around him.

As I said, this was an intriguing special effect, allowing addition of CG to a stage performance, but I'm not sure it really fit in this show. It seemed more like the kind of thing you'd want to put in a children's show.

They tried to create drama in several places by having the guitar play a really loud chord to start a song. I happen not to like the sound of strummed guitars, especially not loudly strummed guitars, so this did not work for me.

The theater was very cold. I was wearing a sort sleeved, mid calf length tee shirt dress and a light windbreaker, it being August. This wasn't enough.

They also had that mist stuff in the air that they do for Josh Groban's concerts. That stuff makes me nervous. I think it's just water, but I'm not sure.  I don’t think it really adds anything.  I wonder why they use it.

There were some places where they flashed the lights on and off a lot.  This also bothered my friend, and was one of the reasons he walked out.  I sat there wondering if I would find out if I were the sort of person who gets seizures from flashing lights -- at least not this time, it turned out.

They announced at the beginning that the show had adult content, but there were kids in there. I would say that the content was adult, not only because it was sexual, but because it was complex, melancholy, and intellectual -- also sometimes bitter and disturbing. There were long monologues without much else happening. Even if there were no sexual content, I don't think most children would like it.

My friend walked out early because of the noise. He encountered at least one family that left because of the content. I think they should alert parents with small children on the way in, and offer them a refund if they bought the tickets online.

On the whole, I didn't care for the show. Nevertheless, it got a standing ovation. This is the sort of thing that makes me feel like a space alien. I often find this with music, that I have trouble with stuff that other people like.

warning; do not sit front row center at this show or you may get spat upon

On why I choose to look away

In 2012, I went to the Americans for the Arts Awards.  Josh was receiving an award.  I paid $1,000 to attend this event.

There were six of us who were Grobies who knew each other who were there.

The event was held at the Cipriani, across from Grand Central Station.  This facility was essentially one large room that had been a bank at one time, with very high ceilings -- maybe 30 feet high?

In the center of the room was the dining area, which had fancy, carved, wooden partitions separating it from the rest of the room. The partitions were only about six feet tall, not nearly to the ceiling at all.

To the west of the dining area was the area reserved for the people getting awards and performing.

At the entry (north of the dining area), there was a velvet cord across the path to the reserved area.  I was able to talk to Josh's parents and a couple of his high school teachers briefly over the velvet cord.

One of the teachers remarked to me that Josh had always been a wonderful person and had not changed. I did not say anything in response. I truly doubt that being adored by crowds of fans can fail to change a young man.  Still, I suppose he knows how not to appear changed, if he chooses to.

To the east of the dining area was the area for the people who had paid to come to attend this event.

In both side areas, east and west of the dining area, people were served hors d'oeuvres and drinks before dinner.

Then we went in to the central dining area.  The podium/stage was to the south.

Grobies were seated in the northwest corner of the dining area near a sort of window/opening in the partition, which allowed us to see into the area where Josh was.

Gayle, Josh's manager, was standing on the other side of the partition, on Josh's side, right near our table.

Looking through the window, I saw Josh, looking as pale as a ghost, and surrounded by a circle of admiring young women.  I later learned that they were part of a "young artists" group that performed during the awards ceremony.  Josh looked like he was being polite and tolerant.

It seemed to me at the time that this intense circle was an example of something that would change Josh's life.  No really nice person would be able to push through and get near Josh. A nice person would hang back and let rude, aggressive people push forward.  Josh would never be able to meet nice people.

Just outside the circle of admirers was China Chow, in a revealing and stunning green velvet dress. Her expression was inscrutable.  She made herself riveting.  I wondered if she was there as Josh's date.

After a while, my eyes wandered southward, to the left, and I saw a very short woman with dark hair standing at a distance, and smiling broadly at Josh.  Later it was pointed out to me that this short woman may have been Rachel. I can't say whether it was or not.

As soon as my eyes found the short woman, Gayle shouted angrily at me, and perhaps the others, to stop staring.

Someone later pointed out to me that perhaps Gayle had been instructed to prevent us from seeing Rachel.

I reflexively obeyed and went and sat down

Our table was one of the farthest from the stage. I suppose the closer guests had paid more? I made the minimum donation to get in there. I think there was an option to pay more.

Later someone pointed out to me a photo that one of the other Grobies had taken of Josh speaking in front and accepting the award he was given.  In between us and Josh was a table that Gayle was sitting at. At the table with Gayle was the back of a head, a woman facing away from us. The person who pointed out the photo to me felt that this back of head  was probably Rachel.

At the time, I didn't notice that other table -- and I could never say for sure if I saw Rachel before, tho it seems probable that it was she.

After dinner we waited for Josh to come out.  We went back out into the east area and stood and waited for an hour.  Eventually he came out, looking truly ill, and was very nice to us and posed with us for a picture.

I noticed, farther to our east, a line of young women, standing in a raised area that one had to go up a few steps to get to -- so they were above us.  There were at least four of them, maybe more.  One of them was China Chow, facing us and using all her modeling skills to attract our attention to her.  The others were apparently white, and had their backs to us.  They stood in a line, all looking nearly identical and beautiful, and mysterious. It was like that shell game that con artists sometimes play on the streets.  You couldn't tell where the real girl was, if she was even in that lineup at all, which she probably wasn't.

Later, it occurred to me that Josh had hired these people to distract us from figuring out who he was really with.

It was at that point that I stopped trying to figure out who he was with.  I didn't have the motivation to try to penetrate all this subterfuge. I had no clue why he was so very secretive, but I figured it was not worth it to me to find out.

More recently the persistent tweet and Instagram miners have been figuring out some things that might explain his secretiveness. I'm not going to talk about that, because I haven't read all that stuff, and don't care to, tho I read some of it.

i read enough to change my opinion of Josh, for sure, enough to focus back on the music, which is what brought me to Josh in the first place -- and away from the person, a person who I might after all rather not know too well.

******

Tonight, I was remembering something else -- another story. This other story is not directly connected with Josh.  It just came to me tonight, as I was having an extended discussion with someone on twitter about the rumors.

At the college I went to, there was a professor who committed suicide, about 20 years after I graduated.  It turned out that he was a pedophile and all of the stuff he had been trying to hide was about to be revealed.  It was a very sad situation.  He was in some ways a brilliant man with some very good characteristics.

If I recall correctly, this professor had adopted a child who turned out to have fetal alcohol syndrome, and the professor was working with great energy to try to help victims of this condition.

He was an excellent author as well.

I found one of his books later in a bookstore, after he died. It was a book for young teens -- a coming of age book. It was a stunningly good book. I loved it.  It made me sad that the author of this excellent book had died under such tragic circumstances, surrounded by scandal.  I read the book to my kids.

Here's a link:
Sees Behind Trees

I recommend this book. It's excellent.

I don't condone pedophilia at all, but it was certainly connected with some excellent art.

The point -- of my bringing up this story of this other artist -- is that looking at the person behind the art can be fascinating or shocking, but the art is the point, not the artist.  Few people's private lives could stand up to intense public scrutiny.

If intense public scrutiny could destroy the artist, should we be so curious?

Suggestion to Emily Bear

Dear Emily,

I was very taken by your Liquid Sky video.

The song of the hermit thrush is something that has always fascinated me.  

I recorded some of this song in New Hampshire, link below.  Now the sound in this video is not quite accurate, because I had to edit out some background noise — namely my parrot, who kept interjecting his two cents — so the timing is not right.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7in2ehhhbU

Here’s a better video, tho it is rather short compared with what these birds really do in the wild.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w9vHS6JdHog

Here’s a video with the bird sounds slowed down

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WvisH_Ix2hc

Here are two piano composition about the hermit thrush

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gYFmsmhduWY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SNkiywugVmY

Here’s another composition about the hermit thrush song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwjmqs4PLZ0 

Another composition that sounds like the hermit thrush 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9qxxc6A8GM (also at 15:40 in this video https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HFy0TqDzHII)

Anyway, I thought these things might inspire you.

Pre-sale issues

This was my presale experience.  This was for Josh Groban's Stages tour.

Two days before I made sure that I knew where my presale code was and that my ticketmaster.com password was working.  I made sure it was the presale code and not the fan club store code.  I do know the difference and I checked carefully.

The night before I double checked the website and found rather ambiguous instructions as to how to access the pre-sale.

Even though I am a night owl and generally don't get to bed before the wee hours of the morning, I set my alarm at 8 a.m. to participate in the presale.

I got to my computer 15 minutes before the sale.

I checked the bulletin board about the presale and found that someone had posted a link to a page with links to purchase tickets for all the concerts.

I got everything started.  I copied my pre-sale code into my clipboard and manually onto my paper calendar.  I took out my credit card and set it on my desk.  I opened several windows on my computer. One with my FOJG profile, one with the buy links to all the concerts, and one with the Live Nation page for my preferred concert in Wallingford, CT.

I made sure my phone was working.

I waited patiently until precisely 10 a.m.  Then I pressed refresh.  I tried entering my code where the code was asked for.  The site did not recognize it.  I tried several times.  I tried cutting and pasting.  I tried entering manually.  My code was all digits.  There were no letters that might mistakenly be capitalized or not capitalized.  The site did not recognize my code

I sent an e-mail to the customer service link on the website.

I went on twitter and contacted @audiotaco, who I think is the FOJG representative for Warner Music.  I also contacted @MAF11, who is always right on top of everything in the fan club.  She reads everything and is very attentive and helpful.

Other fans were also having trouble.

After about half an hour, another fan said her code had started working.  So I hit refresh on my Live Nation page and the site did take my code.

By that time, I could not get 2 tickets at my preferred venue.

I wanted 2 tickets at Wallingford, CT in the balcony.  I couldn't find 2 seats together at all.

I could not find two seats in Albany either.

I ended up with one seat in the orchestra at the Beacon Theater in NYC.  

I hate the Beacon Theater: even though it's closer to my house.  Both times I've been there the concerts were over-amplified and I had to wear ear plugs.  

One of these concerts was an Il Divo concert, which you wouldn't expect to be loud at all, but it was deafening.   I have another blog about that experience.  It wasn't just me and my sensitive ears.  My friend who was with me, who is not an Aspie, was having the same problem.

Another concert I went to at the Beacon was the Cindy Lauper "Home for the Holidays" concert that Josh was in.  Josh premiered "Hidden Away" at that concert.  I took the ear plugs out for Josh, because he was a bit quieter than the other acts.  Josh's words were completely incomprehensible, because the sound system was so crappy.  

I'm really disappointed that Josh chose that theater for his concert.

I really wanted cheaper seats, also. I was hoping to spend about $100, not over $200.

There were other participants in this presale, not just FOJG.  I have to conclude that the other participants were given preference at the presale, shutting out FOJG members from the best seats.

I should say that I am using a mac with the Yosemite operating system and Chrome browser.  In the past, Chrome was the most successful browser in dealing with presale issues, but perhaps I should have tried a different browser.  I don't know, but, as I said, the code did start working after half an hour, so it was clearly not entirely the browser.

I am hoping that cheaper seats may become available later.  Possibly they only put the more expensive seats into the presale.  

Addendum
==========

The idea, tho, that they tried to squeeze fans into the more expensive seats during the presale is not an attractive one.  Josh knows or should know that a large portion of his fans are older women of limited means.  Our society is structured so that older women are often at or near poverty.  Josh should not be trying to squeeze such people for expensive tickets.