This seems to always happen to me. After I write something, I find more that I want to write about. This could have been an addendum to what I posted last night.
But, of course, what I posted last night was already so very long that making an addendum to it would practically turn it into a book. Besides, this one is sort of on a different topic, but a topic that was raised in the previous blog.
I want to start out with something that I've talked about before, which is my curiosity about what is going on neurochemically in a pop music concert.
When a bird sings in the forest, it's a mating call. The male bird sings, and, if the female likes what she hears, she comes by. They both spray each other with pheromones, mate, and have little birdies.
How is this related to what goes on with pop music? When Josh sings to us, is it, biologically, in fact, a mating call? Is the response of women to that call a biological imperative?
It seems to be. Women go nuts over men singing and/or dancing. Presumably, the reason that fan response to Josh is more muted than to Justin Bieber or Usher is that they dance and Josh doesn't. Dancing is also sometimes part of avian mating rituals.
Then what happens? If we're sitting in a concert hall or arena, do we start spraying pheromones? Does the venue become a miasma of pheromones?
What effect does this have on the audience? What effect does it have on the musicians?
Is this why musicians are so notoriously promiscuous?
Is this why some fans become stalkers?
An interesting response to this situation was that of Cat Stevens, who became Muslim, renamed himself Yusuf Islam, and decided that pop singing was simply against his religion -- and, curiously, also looks like Josh. It was later pointed out that many Muslims feel that Islam does not prohibit pop singing; but Yusuf replied that for him the promiscuity, drugs, and alcohol did not seem separable from the singing. I wonder if his intuition that somehow the singing was the cause of the promiscuity was in fact correct.
I've also blogged about Michael Jackson's observations of his audience; how he was fascinated with the audience response to his performances; how he hoped that audience response to singing, dancing, and children might be harnessed to bring about world healing/peace. This was the origin of my quixotic quest for the world anthem.
I still hope that the curious effect on the audience of pop music can actually be harnessed for world peace, that there can be a musical chain reaction that results in world healing. Yet, there are also, it would seem, negative effects of the experience.
Women who become obsessed with Josh cannot all mate with him. The logistics would be impossible. There was one classic interview on TV, I think with Ellen, where fans were clamoring to marry him or something like that, and he viscerally reacted with an emotional "I can't," as if he somehow felt he should requite all the applicants, but was truly frustrated, even frightened, that it was impossible.
Going back to the bird example, it seems to me that once that lady bird comes hopping by and sprays the male with pheromones, after he sings, he probably cannot change his mind. It's probably a binding biological contract. Even if there's something not quite right about this female, if she came in response to his call and sprays him, he probably cannot refuse.
The pop singer must refuse, though, or be trampled to death. I wonder if that's a biologically difficult or damaging thing for the singer to do. What toll does it take on him to refuse the hypothetical biological contract?
Now back to the fan blogs, which I mentioned previously. For myself, I find that writing about my obsession does seem to help. Chatting with other fans online or in person also seems to help.
I am thinking, too, of the song that Josh sings, "Broken Vow," and of the lyrics
Tell me his name
I want to know
The way he looks
And where you go
I need to see his face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end
This song was actually first sung by Lara Fabian (nee Crockaert), who was a co-writer of the song, so she sang it in terms of the other woman, rather than the other man. Strangely, when Josh introduces the song, he only mentions his friend Walter Affanasiev as the writer, not Lara, even though he has sung two duets with Lara, so presumably she is also a friend. I find it disturbing that he fails to credit her.
The lyrics are in keeping with what I've read about counselors who are trying to help couples heal from incidents of infidelity. At least some such counselors feel that the cheating spouse must answer the questions of the spouse who is wronged in order for the latter to feel safe.
When fans blog about Josh's love life, they seem to be acting out the words of this song. They want to know who he is with, since he can't be with them.
The board police, i.e. fans who try to censor other fans, on FOJG want to stop this impulse as wrong. It should be noted that the actual mods on FOJG have stated that this topic is not forbidden, if, in fact, it ever was.
I don't think it's right to try to censor what other fans say. I feel that we as fans can be helpful to each other in overcoming obsession, just as people in 12 step programs are helpful to each other in overcoming obsession with other addictive behaviors; BUT this must be done lovingly -- not as harsh critics trying to silence one another.
Also, for those fans who become obsessed with the idea that they are really going to marry Josh, actually seeing concrete information about his love life is helpful in terms of reality check. It's definitely useful to be able to give them a link to photos of him with women who he seems to be dating. This has had an actual positive effect on some such people in making them realize that Josh is not as available as he might seem.
On the other hand, with these blogs that specifically focus on Josh's love life, people are trying to work out their jealousy feelings toward Josh and his friends, because the hypothetically biological promise of his singing is not to be carried out. We have seen some of these jealous people become extremely hostile, catty, and even cruel towards women who have been linked to Josh.
At some point, this crosses over the line into cyber bullying. I particularly feel for those women who are not even in the entertainment industry and would therefore normally never be public figures or the target of strange fans and/or haters.
I'm not quite sure where I come down on this. I do think that fans NEED to talk about Josh's love life, need to talk to other fans, need to find other fans online to talk about this. I believe that this kind of conversation will lessen the dysfunction that many fans experience. On the other hand, I also feel that cyber-bullying is wrong.
I talked about suicide in the immediately previous blog. What if one of these women connected with Josh were to commit suicide because of online cyber bullying? That would be horrible, but we know that can happen. People have committed suicide due to cyber bullying.
I also follow Paris Jackson on twitter. She complained of cyber bullying. Later I actually saw some bullying tweets. I did report some of them, but only after a delay. I still feel guilty that I did not act sooner, in view of her later suicide attempt. I know the press has attributed her distress over the death of her father, but I'm sure bullying did not help.
I don't have a definite conclusion here, but I wanted to share my thoughts on these topics.
