frustrating

I had a very interesting -- or what to me seemed interesting -- conversation on twitter today about the nature of genius -- and about the closeness of genius to madness, the relationship of genius with sleeping disorders, and the inability of psychiatrists to treat geniuses properly.

This was all triggered by Josh's tweet about falling out of bed.  It started out being about him, but branched into Mozart, Michael Jackson, Lady Gaga, and a very brilliant friend of mine who also sleep walked, dangerously.

Some people are really sensitive about the topic of mental health.  Some people are still in the mode of thinking that mental health topics are shameful and should be discussed in confidence, not published.

I believe that the only person who lacks a mental health diagnosis is a person who has failed to consult with a mental health professional.  I do not believe there are normal people out there.  I believe that if everyone discussed their mental health diagnoses more freely, we would realize that, in fact, everyone has a problem; instead of believing that there are some "normal" people out there who are going to be shocked to learn that *gasp* other people have problems.  Oh, no!  Really?  There are people with problems?  How shocking!

I started out being really secretive about mental health problems.  I tried to hide my son's Asperger's Syndrome.  This nearly drove me insane as this is something that cannot be hidden.  Indeed, trying to hide it led people to suppose that his poor behavior might be easily cured by more discipline.

Wrong.

I learned that talking about these things helped other people understand what was going on and helped them accommodate my son.

I also believe that the only way for a genius to be normal is to destroy his genius.  I see this in the literature, where they try to get savants to be more social, and they lose their savant abilities, abilities like being able to find huge prime numbers or being able to identify square roots.

Some people have reacted adversely to me using the term savant, when applied to Josh, but clearly some of what he does fall into that category, like playing by ear, or being able to compose music to Kanye's tweets essentially spontaneously.  The term "savant" is not an insult.  Even though some savants are retarded, not all of them are.

Ironically, the person who gets most bent out of shape by allegations that Josh might have some mental health issues, like everyone does -- and he has himself said he has depression and sleep disorders -- is someone who is on pretty shaky grounds as far as emotional health is concerned herself.

But, because some people are so intimidated by mental health issues, my counterpart in the conversation got nervous and deleted her side of the conversation, leaving my tweets naked -- and not entirely clear.  I'm putting them below with some stuff in square brackets to try to explain.

• ·            Yes, often quite down.  He is a high drama performer.  That drama has to come from somewhere.  I
• ·            don’t think that people who are always serene can bring out the kind of drama he does.
• ·            I had a friend in college who was a serious sleep walker.  Once he woke up in front of his wood stove with the door open.
• ·            He decided he couldn’t have a wood stove, because it was too dangerous for him
• ·            I’m not sure they have good treatments for this type of sleep disorder. [response to alleged need for medical treatment]
• ·            I wonder if he’s lost relationships over this. [response to hearing of Josh punching & kicking in sleep]
• ·            I think he would not be as entertaining if he were normal.  We need  to accept him as he is.
• ·            Doctors prescribe addictive sleep medications. [response to suggestion of medical intervention] We don’t need him to become a drug addict.
• ·            Michael Jackson always had sleep problems.  Doctors gave him pain killers after his burns and he was off to the races with the
• ·            Drugs after having been clean before.  Musical geniuses, indeed any geniuses, are not normal.  We can’t expect them to be.
• ·            It’s normal for him to be exhausted after a concert, though.  He works hard.  He says he feels better the next day.
• ·            I fear that the treatment would be worse than the problem.
• ·            What happened was that doctors got him [meaning Jackson] into addictive medications, which ultimately killed him.
• ·            Vulnerable to addiction.  You have be compulsive to put on the kind of performances Josh puts on
• ·            No. that’s not what I meant.  I meant that he can’t be healthy [with reference to sleep disorders] without being chemically lobotomized so he wouldn’t be the
• ·            Person who we love
• ·            And they’ll drug him so that he becomes even tempered, boring, and not creative – not entertaining
• ·            I don’t think these people can really help geniuses.  They can just turn them into drones
• ·            Chemical lobotomy.
• ·            I want this Josh, not the chemically lobotomized one.
• ·            He is a creation of God or nature, if you prefer.  He wasn’t made to be a well adjusted insurance salesman or car mechanic.
• ·            We don’t know what Josh’s management thinks of him at all. He loves Gayle, tho.  He says so in his album jacket, so she must
• ·            Understand him.
• ·            MJ was abused, mostly because he was not normal.  Like my kids, he responded to discipline by becoming more non-compliant
• ·            This type of response is infuriating for a parent, and not neurotypical.  Neurotypical kids would do almost anything to placate
• ·            An angry parent.  MJ, and my son, responded/respond to anger by becoming more difficult, not less.  MJ described this in
• ·            His autobiography.  I don’t think we can say his father didn’t love him.  His father loved him dysfunctionally
• ·            If he starts going to doctors, they’ll start giving him meds, just like they did to MJ – and, because of Josh’s compulsive
• ·            Genius nature, he will be vulnerable to addition, no matter what family he came from.  It’s part of the nature of musical
• ·            Genius
• ·            He could not achieve the musical level he achieves if he were normal and well-adjusted.
• ·            Perfection requires extreme compulsion.
• ·            Granted MJ’s dysfunctional family did not help, but he was doomed from the start.
• ·            At age 1, he was dancing in front of the TV, copying famous dancers.
• ·            At age 4, he was choreographing dances and arranging music.  This is not normal  His conflicts with his family stemmed in part
• ·            From his being not normal – just as Mozart was not normal and was constantly in conflict with those around him.  Its’ part of
• ·            The nature of genius.  The line between genius and madness is blurry
• ·            Again-chemical lobotomy will make him sleep – perhaps – but he won’t be Josh.  These meds are not nostrums
• ·            Seroquel
• ·            In the musical, “Salieri” there was a line that Mozart was God’s magic flute.  God played him until he broke.
• ·            I know you’re an atheist, but I mean this metaphorically
• ·            Geniuses will frequently not survive their genius.
• ·            A life is not less valuable for being short.
• ·            Ted Kennedy said that last at the funeral of his nephew, John F. Kennedy, JR.
• ·            I don’t trust them [doctors].  I don’t think they can rally help him, without making him less of what I love
• ·            Yes, special, different, to be cherished, not changed.  IMHO
• ·            I found therapy not helpful, for me personally.  I found 12 step programs helpful.
• ·            But this type of disorder, the savant/genius, is different from other disorders
• ·            I had a friend in college who was like that.  A great genius.  Child prodigy in math.
• ·            Unfortunately, he elected to leave his area of prodigy and get into journalism.  Very sad, but I suspect he’s still walking
• ·            And talking in his sleep.  Nice guy, tho.
• ·            Still, he was the same one who had a nervous breakdown after fasting for Oxfam.
• ·            His father was a great genius also, friend of my father, who was thought mad until proven correct in physics
• ·            The friend’s father was thought mad, not my father.
• ·            A brilliant mind is like a race horse.  It runs exceedingly quickly, but the legs are easily broken
• ·            Lady Gaga once talked about that, the fear people had of her being crazy and dying tragically when young.
• ·            She said that if that’s how she dies that will be her destiny
• ·            I feel so, also.  Geniuses are at the edge.  They are fragile, tragic, but we need them.
• ·            I am very worried about her also.  I don’t think she’s adjusting well to not being able to dance
• ·            Yes, same here. [crazy geniuses in the family]
• ·            We know his music.  I know I can’t practice enough to get my music to sound as good as his does.
• ·            His obsession allows him to practice like that.
• ·            He tells us some stuff.  The most common thing he says is that he is nervous/frightened.
• ·            I think it helps him when is down to turn on twitter and have us tweet him jokes
• ·            J
• ·            True.  He often says that.  Feeling lonely, even tho surrounded by others, seemingly.
• ·            The quintessential pain of being a great artist