Reaction to Hyde Park

Painful, that's what it is, listening to Josh not singing his best in front of a huge crowd, like at Hyde Park, on September 9: high notes strained, some notes off key. What's up?

These high notes sounding strangled seems to be becoming more and more common with him. Yet, every so often, he sounds better. Being off key isn't so common with him.

I have a great imagination. Let's see. Is he sick, which he seems to be way more often than most people?  He complained of laryngitis upon leaving England.  Was that from being sick?  Or from straining?  Has his voice gotten too low for those higher notes, but then why off key on lower ones? He has complained of feeling fat and bingeing.  Has he become bulimic and is he purging before concerts? Has he damaged his voice by singing, particularly when sick, like Placido Domingo’s father?

I'm thinking back on my experience at the Hollywood Bowl in July. July 2, the first time he sang in that series of three concerts, he didn't sound so great -- not as bad as at Hyde Park, but not great. Then, I went back July 4, the third time he sang in the same venue, with the same program and backup musicians, and he sounded totally amazing. 

I can't even begin to tell you what a transporting experience July 4 was:  His voice was so rich and multi-textured, and the synchrony with the orchestra was so subtle. There's a certain magic when things just click, and that was there that night. I was totally mesmerized the entire time.  It was a nearly flawless performance, which certainly banished any suspicion on my part that his voice was permanently damaged.

Yet, the YouTube videos of the Red Rock concert 4 days later had his high notes on “Brave” sounding strangled again.

If he were really overtired or straining, why would he sound better the third time in 3 days in Hollywood?

Back to Hyde Park: he seemed unusually grateful to see fans in the front row.  He spoke with more than usual emotion in his voice about how glad he was that they had taken the trouble to be in the front row with a banner.

Was he nervous? That's such a storied venue, and I guess the crowd there is more random than he might normally expect.  Plus he was on UK TV.

Actually, the most common thing that Josh says about his feelings is that he's nervous.  He's too scared to call Stevie Wonder. He's too scared to be a cohost with Kelly. He's too scared to try stand up comedy.   He has said that earlier in his career he was sometimes so nervous that he could not sing at all.  That seemed to happen on his Live at the Greek DVD, where some of the songs are really so awful that they’re hard to listen to.  I definitely recommend getting the revised CD from that concert, which is better, though still not his best performance.

On the "Straight To You" (STY) tour, I was somewhat discomfited by the change in his sound from when he was younger.  Still, by and large, he did well. The higher notes were somewhat strained, but not this strangled sound we're getting now.  Most people felt he was singing better than he had ever sung.

On the STY tour, he brought his backup musicians with him. I can see where it would be nerve-racking to stand up with a new bunch of musicians, whom one has only practiced with a small number of times, in a new venue, and not be quite sure what is going to happen. I wonder if bringing backup musicians would reduce his stress?

Also, on that tour, he didn’t have large screens, with his image.  Instead he had a sound and light show behind him.  Did he perhaps hope the sound and light show would keep the audience from staring at him? 

Before the Hyde Park concert, he had this whirlwind thing where he filmed with HBO for four days, them rushed off to the UK, where there was jet lag. He said on twitter that he hadn't slept in two days.

I'm wondering if there's a certain amount of denial going on here, where he's allowing himself to be over scheduled, and not sufficiently advocating for his need for more rest and more rehearsal time.

Also, I wonder if he's in denial about being able to pick up local musicians in the venues where he plays.  They're sure to be off, at least in some parts of the music, I would think. They're all going to have their quirks.  He chooses the strings players, by and large, because they’re beautiful young women.  I’m sure they’re great violinists, but, if beauty is the main criterion, is he really getting the best performers?  Moreover, are they distracting while he's singing if they're too beautiful?

Michael Jackson said he liked to rehearse everything about a hundred times and then he would go into a trance, when performing, and sing from reflex. Jackie Evancho has mentioned going into a trance when she sings as well. 

I know in my little YouTube channel, my biggest hit (moving in on 3000 views, whoopee!  not major league) is the song that I sang as a lullaby to my younger son. I must have sung that song at least a thousand times.   Somehow, I believe, people can hear that I really internalized that song, and that's why it's most popular.

Similarly, I think Josh may have done so well on the Noel album, because he sang a lot of those sings repeatedly as a child. He has said he was puzzled, why it was so little work, but then he wasn't thinking, perhaps, of his childhood practice.

It's going to be hard to go into that kind of trance and really sing well, if you're singing with different backup musicians every time.

Also, perhaps with "Brave," has he sung it badly so many times that it's becoming a habit to strangle on the high notes?

I saw an article about neurological research into professional athletes. They documented what parts of the brain are used when a highly experienced player is out on the field, as compared with when people perform such tasks with less experience. It's a totally different part of the brain, for the experienced, professional athlete. It's not in the conscious part of the brain at all. While the less experienced person is thinking consciously about what he or she is doing.

The author commented that this was why professional athletes often sound stupid when asked about their plays. They have no idea what they did. It was all in the subconscious, reflexive thought processes. 

Now imagine if a football player were to play with a different team every time. Would he play as well?  Unlikely.  He would have to go back into that conscious thinking mode more, when dealing with new players, and that would throw him off.

Experienced fans do sense that their enthusiasm has a positive effect on Josh's performances. I've even seen that myself. He responds to a crowd. Still, I wonder if even the most enthusiastic fans can overcome the kind of exhaustion that Josh must have been experiencing this week, together with performing with new musicians and his possible fear of the storied venue. 

Also, I think Josh is really conscious of trying not to be a Diva. I read a news story a year ago or so about Lady Gaga keeping people waiting for an hour while she insisted on extra rehearsals. People got very restive with her, but she knew what was necessary to get the kind of performance she wanted to deliver.  She gets the results she wants.

I kind of suspect that, in the same situation, Josh would probably cave in to pressure, and not insist on those extra rehearsals. Fear again. Maybe some more diva-ish behavior is necessary here.

Also, is he maybe afraid to admit that he has to transpose some songs lower?

Ok, now, just assuming that fear is an issue here, I would like to digress into one of my favorite topics: my 12 step programs.  I love 12 step programs.  They’re a huge passion for me.  I always hope to be able to share what I've found there, which is part of why this account is pseudonymous.

So, here goes:

Josh (and I kind of suspect that you might read this blog, and to anyone else who might have gotten this far), I would like to commend to your attention a prayer I learned in my step programs, from page 68 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

God, please remove my fear and direct my attention to what you would have me be.

Addicts have to have their fear removed; otherwise they will go back into their self-medicating, addictive behaviors. What 12 steppers, myself included, have discovered is that this kind of prayer has a positive effect on fear. 

Now I know that you're not terribly religious, Josh, but this prayer has definite positive effects on my thinking, I find -- and a lot of people find. It's like a meditation technique.  You don’t have to believe anything in particular for it to work.

I don't know if you saw that YouTube video with that palm reader reading your palm. One need not necessarily believe in palm reading, but he said that doing music was in your palm, that you have to do it for your karma or something like that.

This relates to another aspect of what I've been learning in my 12 step stuff, this idea that God intends us to be exactly where we are right now. If I'm constantly questioning whether I should be where I am, I'm going to make myself miserable with dithering. And, for me, as a food addict, that kind of misery us going to make me want to self medicate with food.

This sort of principle applies to life for anyone, I think. If I'm constantly worrying, I'm going to be miserable, no matter what else is going on.  If you're convinced that God means you to be where you are, then it's less frightening.

Anyway that prayer really helps me, so I recommend it.

------------------------------------

I should add, here, that the reason that I sit here and write four pages on this topic is that I want to keep hearing what I heard on July 4.  Also, I want those many people who saw Josh in a televised concert from Hyde Park to realize that he doesn't always sound that way.

--------------------------------------

Oh, one more question I ask myself.  Is he so reluctant to transpose songs downward because he has perfect pitch, so transposing is difficult?

---------------------------------------

In case you didn't notice, this blog is about Josh Groban, the singer @joshgroban on twitter.